New year, new me?
Not really, but a me with renewed clarity…
Close up of an illustration by Bianca Jagoe from Cole Imperi’s A Guide to Grief, ringed by the edges of other books
Since announcing that I was stepping away from agenting, I’ve been going through the grief process. It was a brutally hard decision because there were people I was crushed to let down and elements of agenting that I truly love. Ultimately, the load of disappointment I was carrying grew too heavy. Every project I couldn’t sell turned into cement shoes that dragged me down into cold, dark water. And it wasn’t because I didn’t work hard enough and it wasn’t because those projects were no good. It’s because publishing is a brutally difficult business predicated on subjectivity and the desire of publishers to spend all their money on “big” books, leaving niche and midlist books lost and homeless. My taste in books simply wasn’t commercial enough to live off of. I led with my heart instead of profit and loss statements.
What did I love about agenting? Helping authors and the books I did manage to find publishing homes. What do I love about publishing? I love that every book published has the ability to be life changing for someone somewhere. I truly believe that because I have lived it and this belief has been unchanged. It is the foundation that my life in the book business has been built on – as a Scholastic Book Fair rep, as a bookseller and bookstore manager, as an editor, as a volunteer for a literary festival, and as a literary agent.
Books can change lives.
So yes, I’m still mourning but also still believe it was the right choice for myself and my clients no matter how sad and uncomfortable it has been.
And no, I’m not done with books. I’ll be finding my place where I can love what I love and help who I can. And I will always celebrate every book I helped bring to publication because each one is life-changing.
Happy Reading!
– Stacey
A random selection of just some of the books that I helped get published…
